Teacher's Lunch - Sketch

Here's another scene I wrote for a couple friends at school for our schools Theater Night


Characters:

Jane Anderson: Really cheery and nice to everyone.  Fun to be around. Cares a lot about teaching and tries to do what's best for her students. Teaches English

Alexander Roberts: Happy and Nice teacher. gives a  lot of Homework but knows how to teach well. Teaches Science.

Noah Walker: Young, new teacher. Really enthusiastic, but stressed about his job. Teaches Math.

Ava Peterson: Calm, ecstatic, bubbly, quiet, furious, cheerful. She's always in a different mood, you never know what will happen next. Teaches Psychology.

Anita Tucker: Nerd teacher basically. Loves her job. She always accidentally mentions dissecting or something, especially during lunch. Teaches Animal Science.

Table and Chairs CS. Jane and Alexander enter SR. Jane looks tired, Alexander concerned. Jane Carrying a lunch box, Alexander a paper bag.

Jane: (sounding almost exhausted) Alexander, I don't think I can put up with these kids anymore.

Alexander: (trying to help) Well they can't be as bad as my last class.

Jane: Oh, I wouldn't say that, I have Joe Stitcher in my class!

Alexander: (almost laughing) Aaaah! you have Stitcher do you?

Jane: (slightly frustrated) This is not a laughing matter!

Alexander: (Holds "door" open for her, she nods thanks) (mock sincerity) I'm sorry, I do feel your pain.

Jane: (pushes his shoulder) You don't even care!

(Noah enters SL, Jane and Alexander pull out their lunches. Noah opens "door" and walks in, quietly sits down. Jane and Alexander look at Noah, then at each other)

Jane: Is something wrong Noah? (Ava and Anita enter SL)

Alexander: (overly cheerful) Yeah, you're not your regular cheery self.

Noah: Aaaahhhggg!!!! (they both jump back, Ava and Anita come in quickly)

Ava: What happened?!

Anita: Is something wrong?!

Noah: I can't stand these High Schoolers any longer!!!!

Alexander: Is that all? You are still a pretty new teacher. Don't worry, you'll get…

Noah: No, I won't, I can't get used to them!!

Ava: (trying to comfort Noah) Maybe you should sit down.

Noah: Good idea. (he attempts to sit, although he's already sitting) Wait,  I am sitting down!

Ava: (realizing her mistake) Oh, well then maybe you should stand up.

(Awkward Silence)

Anita: (Acknowledging awkward silence attempts to change the subject) You won't believe it! (Jane and Alexander become interested while Ava tries to help Noah feel better) During Animal Science today, a student found the remnants of a man-of-war jellyfish in the shark we were dissecting. (they become uninterested)

Alexander: Well thank you very much Miss. Tucker for that flawless attempt of changing the subject. (Jane looks at her lunch with disgust. Noah and Ava are now listening)

Anita: Well excuse me Mr. Roberts. I was only trying to help. (she gestures with her hands) I'm sure you didn't have anything that spectacular happen today.

Alexander: My day was uneventful, to say the least. (motioning to Jane) Jane's the one to talk to if you want a story.

Jane: (modesty shrugging) It's not that exciting really. Just another day attempting to teach Joe Stitcher. (a few slightly pull back and gasp)

Ava: Oh, I'm sorry Jane, that you have to put up with him.

Alexander: (slightly laughing) How'd you end up with crutches?

Ava: It wasn't Joe, I fell off a desk doing a demonstration.

Noah: What kind of demonstration?!

Ava: Don't ask.

Jane: What do you think I should do?

Alexander: Hey, a little extra homework never hurt the kid.

Noah: (to Alexander) Yeah, all those reports and essays you assign to be turned in the next day, those never hurt anybody.

Alexander: Oh, I usually give them full credit, or never collect it, if they learn to behave.

Jane: And what does it benefit the students.

Alexander: Almost absolutely nothing. But that's the point. The benefit is all mine. (he tells this excitedly as if it's a big secret) You can almost hear the silence when they're working.

Jane: Why Mr. Roberts, that's horrible!

Noah: (to Jane) You know, he has a point.

Anita: Now don't you go and side with him!

Noah: I'm just saying…

Jane: That's no way to teach Mr. Walker.

Noah: I know, I know. But you have to admit, it's not a bad idea.

Anita: (trying to change the subject again) Have any of you ever had Melany Coleman in your class? She's a jewel. (attention turns to Anita)

Alexander: No, what makes her so special?

Anita: She's absolutely a star student! One day, during Animal Science, she discovered the most amazing microorganism devouring the protoplasm of a particularly agitated bacterium.

Noah: Um, if you haven't noticed, we were going to try and eat our lunch.

Alexander: (Sarcastically, to Noah) Are you kidding?! That really helped my appetite!

Noah: (equally sarcastic) Oh, I'm sure! Just Imagine that poor bacterium being eaten by the…(stops, turns to Ava) what did you say that was?

Anita: (slightly agitated at his sarcasm) A microorganism.

Noah: Oh yes! (turns back to Alexander) imagine that poor bacterium being devoured by the microorganism. I'm sure it made you very hungry.

Ava: (scolding Noah and Alexander) Honestly, you two. (speaking to everyone) You know, there are a few girls in my first class that just drive me up the wall.

Jane: What are they like?

Ava: Well, I let my class choose where they sit because I believe it helps them learn better if they can work with someone they know…

Alexander: Oh, I think I can see where this is going.

(Noah takes out his phone and starts texting)

Ava: Shhhh, I haven't even gotten there yet. Well these three girls sat right next to each other and instead of talking to each other face to face, they're always texting! Can you believe it?! I don't know what this world is coming to. Imagine, three people so socially inept that they can't even talk to each other face to face! (her phone rings. She looks at it.) Oh, I just got a text from Mr. Walker. (she reads it slowly) I have those girls in one of my classes. I believe they're starting to rub off on me. (she starts texting him back, and realizes what's happening) Wait a minute!!!! (turns to Noah, exasperated)

Noah: (He shrugs innocently) I was just trying to make a point.

Jane: So, Noah, what was bothering you earlier?

Noah: (motioning with hands) Those same girls in Ava's class. No matter what I do I can't ever get them to stop talking…er…texting.

Alexander: Why don't you just take their phones away?

Noah: They won't confess that they actually had their phones out. I don't know where they hide them, but the general response is that they were looking in their purse. What is so important that they have to constantly look in their purse? I don't see how they think that's a good excuse.

Alexander: Just like I told you Noah, you'll learn to...

Noah: No, I told you before I can't get used them!! It's utterly impossible!!!

(A school bell rings back stage)

Jane: (Standing up to leave) Well, we better get to our next class.(exit SR)

Alexander: (Stands up and follows Jane) I'm right behind you!

Ava:  better go prepare some last minute things for my class. See you all later. (waves goodbye, exits SL)

Anita: (Sighs, controlling herself as if she has to do something really hard) Back to the Laboratory. (waves) See ya' later Noah. (exits SL)

(three girls enter SL, texting and occasionally giggling)

Noah: (Looks at the girls, Sighs/groans, puts head on table then slowly picks up his lunch bag and walks out of the room pushing "door" open, SL)  (Lights darken)